What Is Self-Esteem? Understanding Its Role in Mental Health and Wellbeing

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What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the way we perceive and value ourselves. It’s shaped by our beliefs, experiences, relationships, and the messages we’ve received over time. At its core, self-esteem influences how we treat ourselves, how we let others treat us, and how we respond to life’s challenges.

Put simply, self-esteem answers the internal question: “Am I worthy?”

“Am I worthy?”

The Two Sides of Self-Esteem

There are two broad types of self-esteem:

1. Healthy self-esteem: This is when we hold a balanced and realistic view of ourselves. We acknowledge our strengths, accept our limitations, and recognise our inherent worth. Individuals with healthy self-esteem tend to be more resilient, assertive, and confident in their relationships and decision-making.

2. Low self-esteem: This often comes with self-doubt, negative self-talk, or a constant need for external validation. Individuals with low self-esteem often struggle to establish boundaries, fear rejection, and may feel unworthy of love and success. It can be deeply uncomfortable and often tied to earlier life experiences or trauma.

Where Does Self-Esteem Come From?

Self-esteem begins to form in childhood and is heavily influenced by:

• Parental and caregiver feedback

• Peer relationships

• School experiences

• Achievement and failure

• Social comparison (especially through social media)

• Cultural and societal messages

• Past trauma or neglect

For example, children who are consistently encouraged, listened to, and loved unconditionally tend to develop stronger self-esteem than those who are criticised, ignored, or emotionally neglected.

children who are consistently encouraged, listened to, and loved unconditionally tend to develop stronger self-esteem

Why Self-Esteem Matters

Low self-esteem is linked to a range of mental health concerns, including:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Relationship issues

• People-pleasing tendencies

• Perfectionism

• Avoidance or procrastination

• Difficulty with boundaries

On the other hand, healthy self-esteem can act as a buffer. It doesn't mean you won’t feel hurt, insecure, or vulnerable at times, but it does mean you're more likely to bounce back and make empowered choices.

you're more likely to bounce back and make empowered choices

Can You Improve Self-Esteem?

Yes. Self-esteem is not fixed. It can change over time, especially when we actively work on it. Therapy can be a powerful space to explore the roots of low self-esteem and rebuild a more compassionate and confident self-view.

Some evidence-based strategies include:

• Challenging negative self-talk

• Identifying core beliefs about self-worth

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Practising self-compassion

• Engaging in values-driven behaviour

• Developing a more supportive inner voice

At Hope Prevails, therapy is tailored to help you recognise your worth, heal past wounds, and create new ways of thinking and relating to yourself.

When to Seek Support

If you often feel unworthy, ashamed, not good enough, or you notice your confidence is holding you back in relationships, work, or daily life, it may be time to reach out. You deserve to live with a sense of self-respect and emotional safety.

You Are Worth It

If you're ready to explore and build healthier self-esteem in a safe, compassionate space, I’d love to support you. Based on the Gold Coast, I offer private therapy sessions for individuals looking to reconnect with their self-worth and emotional wellbeing.

📞 Book a free 15-minute consultation or learn more about how therapy can help