Supporting Someone Experiencing Emotional Distress: A Practical and Compassionate Guide
- Deborah Marks
- Jul 18
- 3 min read
It can be difficult and distressing to witness someone you care about struggling with intense or persistent emotional pain. Whether they are experiencing sadness, anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or general overwhelm, the desire to help is natural. Still, many people feel uncertain about what to say or how to offer meaningful support.
At Hope Prevails on the Gold Coast, I often work with individuals who are navigating complex emotional experiences, as well as with those supporting loved ones through these challenges. This article outlines several evidence-informed principles for providing compassionate, effective support while also maintaining your own wellbeing.
1. Be Present and Compassionate, Not Problem-Focused
Emotional distress is rarely alleviated through quick solutions or unsolicited advice. Instead, individuals often benefit most from being met with a calm and compassionate presence. Offering space for someone to speak openly, without fear of judgment or minimisation, can have a profoundly grounding effect.
You might begin with a gentle statement such as:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been going through a tough time. If you’d like to talk, I’m here.”
Such expressions convey safety, interest, and respect for the individual’s experience, without placing pressure on them to explain or justify their feelings.
2. Engage in Active and Non-Judgemental Listening
When someone chooses to open up, it is important to listen without interrupting, evaluating, or attempting to “fix” their emotional state. Avoid minimising comments (e.g., “try not to think about it” or “it could be worse”) and instead offer validation and empathy.
Helpful responses may include:
“That sounds incredibly difficult.”
“I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”
“Thank you for trusting me enough to share this.”
These statements demonstrate attunement and emotional validation, which are essential components of psychological safety.
3. Acknowledge the Normalcy of Emotional Pain
Difficult emotions are a natural and unavoidable part of the human experience. By normalising distress, you can help reduce shame and self-criticism for the person who is struggling.
For example:
“Given everything you’re going through, it’s completely understandable to feel this way.”
This type of statement helps the person feel less isolated and more connected amid their pain.
4. Support Access to Professional Help
While emotional support from friends and family can be vital, it is not a substitute for professional psychological care. If the person’s emotional state appears to be significantly impacting their functioning, relationships, or safety, it may be appropriate to encourage them to seek help from a qualified mental health practitioner.
You might say:
“Have you thought about speaking with a therapist? There are people who specialise in helping with exactly this.”
Where appropriate, offer to assist with researching providers, attending an appointment, or exploring accessible telehealth options. If you're based on the Gold Coast or surrounding areas, Hope Prevails offers confidential support for individuals navigating a wide range of emotional and psychological concerns.
5. Establish Boundaries and Look After Your Own Wellbeing Also
Supporting someone in emotional distress can be emotionally taxing. It is essential to maintain your own boundaries and seek support if you feel overwhelmed or emotionally depleted.
You can express care while still honouring your limits by saying:
“I care deeply about you, and I also need to take care of myself right now. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”
Sustainable support is grounded in mutual respect and emotional balance. Remember, your role is to accompany someone through their distress, not to carry it for them.
6. Recognise Signs of Crisis and Take Action if Necessary
If the individual expresses thoughts of suicide, self-harm, or hopelessness, this should always be taken seriously. Stay with them if possible, and gently encourage them to contact a mental health professional or crisis service.
In Australia, the following services offer immediate support:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
If the situation poses an immediate risk, call emergency services on 000.
Final Thoughts
Providing support to someone experiencing emotional distress is both a compassionate act and a responsibility that requires care, boundaries, and at times, professional guidance. Your role is not to diagnose or fix, but to offer a steady presence and encourage help-seeking when needed.
If someone in your life is struggling emotionally and you’re unsure how to help, or if you are personally affected by their distress, therapy may be a valuable support for both of you. At Hope Prevails, I provide a calm, confidential environment for individuals and families navigating emotional challenges, trauma, and mental health concerns.
Book a confidential consultation
Whether you’re supporting someone or needing support yourself, you are not alone.
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